How to simplify your parenting & cooking life with one question

As we walked down the steep country road, passing by Christmas wreaths, pygmy goats making gentle “baaaa” sounds, and a decked out crĂšche with twinkling lights, we performed our annual review. Alex and I agreed that, while life was great and we were happy, we had many areas of inefficiencies. Now that the first half of 2023 has flown by, I can feel the year has unfolded smoothly compared to most of 2022. Was it because the Little King is older? Nah—parenting hasn’t gotten easier as he’s older, just different. What changed was my commitment to implement new systems.

We chose to change three big things: we tried out grocery pickup,  jiggered our routines to eat dinner at 6 p.m., and I looked for more childcare. These experiments not only added new systems but forced us to cut off things that weren’t working. It opened our eyes to a new framework for making choices: requirements versus priorities. Let’s dive into two examples so you can see how this framework could apply to you and how you can ask yourself one question to drastically simplify your life while getting more done.

An illustration of a big number one with the word "thing"

The life-changing experiment of finding childcare

Our old childcare strategy involved me watching the Little King full-time and a drop-in daycare once or twice a week for about 1-3 hours. The daycare provided socialization but didn’t give me much of a break because I couldn’t leave the building per their licensing restrictions. My kid always wanted me within sight anyway.

I drove 20 minutes one way to get there, which made it impractical to go everyday. I knew we could do better. I desperately needed someone who could take my kid to the park so I could get quiet work done—alone. He needed someone consistent and dependable so he could feel secure rather than the unpredictable nature of a drop-in daycare where the teachers and kids differ everyday.

When I started this hunt in February, I began with a lot of requirements. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Little King’s babysitter could speak to him in Cantonese? Wouldn’t it be great if they could go to story time at the library together? I’d love it if they ran around so much that he was so exhausted at the end that he’d nap for 3 hours. I wanted a few hours of care every other day, less than 10 hours per week. The more I built up these requirements, the higher the cost of finding this person became. My dad told me these requirements don’t matter at this age. I need to find someone who’s kind and loves kids.

With a reality check, I realized my requirement was to find a babysitter. These other desires were priorities, not requirements. Soon after this mindset shift, I found a terrific person who worked out well during the three months she was available. Did I lower my standards? I don’t believe so because I got the outcome I wanted. I felt more productive, rested, and the Little King loved going to the park with her. Another benefit to focusing on one requirement rather than many priorities was it saved me a lot of search time. Once you eliminate people who didn’t fit your requirement, you can find someone much sooner, with less work.

Check out my course on finding a babysitter to escape your cooking nightmare.

The waisting-slimming experiment of earlier dinner

When we visited my parents back home for the new year, they encouraged us to get in the habit of eating dinner earlier. Alex and I admitted we slipped into late routines where we ate dinner closer to 7 to 8 p.m. (ahem, even as late as 9 p.m on haywire days). Eating late leads to knock-on effects including going to bed later, feeling full close to bedtime, and snacking around 5 p.m. because we were hungry. I know it seems illogical: if you’re hungry at 5 p.m., why not eat dinner rather than snacking at 5 and eating at 8 p.m.? Disorganized, I was often running errands or going on a walk at 5:30 p.m. Since I hadn’t cooked yet, there was no dinner to eat at 5 p.m.

Once we committed to this requirement of eating dinner at 6 p.m. every night, it forced structure. To meet this deadline, I had to finish errands and walks before 6 p.m. I abandoned the requirement of eating a homemade meal every day, which dramatically cut down on my time in front of the cooktop.

Chaotic days still happened—that’s when dinner became a sandwich, salad, or instant noodles. A few times after blowing through the deadline, I realized how easily I lost track of time. I set up a recurring alarm on my phone at 5:45 p.m. (new system) to remind me to start cooking.

On calmer days, I prepared dinner at 4 p.m., rather than waiting until 6:30 p.m to come up with a dinner plan like our old ways. Since we finish dinner by 7 p.m., we get an hour of leisure every night. This new requirement gave us greater personal freedom, including adding a twice-per-week swim, which would’ve been unthinkable when we ate dinner at 7:30 p.m.

The key

What I realized from these two examples is that having too many requirements makes life more complicated because it’s hard to meet multiple requirements. At the same time, as with most things in life that benefit from balance, one governing requirement that created a goal or vision served as an organizing principle. We could direct all our efforts towards a vision—be it finding a babysitter or eating dinner by 6 p.m. So, the question becomes how do you decide on your vision or your overarching goal?

The guiding principle that pushed both choices comes from a famous book called The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. This book proposes a framework to help you make choices about how to spend your limited time and resources. To summarize this book, you can achieve extraordinary results if you discover what your “one thing” is. Knowing what the one thing is—notice not three, five, or thirty things—allows you to cut through distractions and eliminate extra tasks that don’t help you get closer to your “one thing”. The authors remind you to ask yourself the question every day: “What is the One Thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

Finding childcare that works for the Little King became my one thing (so that everything else in my life—writing, home renovations, cooking dinner—was easier). Eating dinner at 6 p.m. became our one thing once childcare was in place because I could reach for new goals. Asking myself how to eat by 6 p.m. forced me to postpone complex meals until the weekend, stock up on pre-made options without guilt, and dive into my semi-homemade repertoire.

If you’re often feeling like everything is urgent and important, it’s hard to get much done because you’re frazzled from task switching. If you haven’t read this book, I recommend it as it helped me beat back overwhelm. For busy parents who don’t have time to read a 240-page book, you can get 80% of the benefits by asking yourself the “one thing” question every day

“What is the one thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth About Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

NOTE: Answering this question is simple but it ain’t easy. It can be hard to discard things you’re emotionally tied to…even if you know they’re not leading you towards your one thing. Finding emotional support can help you commit to cutting out distractions, even if they’re painful to remove.

Once you know what your “one thing” is, you choose your requirement. Your requirements get you closer to achieving your one thing. Everything else serves as distractions. You can eliminate or push these things to your priorities. Priorities are nice-to-haves you can aim for when you achieve your one thing or bonuses you gain along the way.

This requirements versus priorities framework surprised me in the last 12 months. It led to tough decisions like choosing not to go on vacation this summer so we could focus on finishing our remodel. I canceled the drop-in childcare because, even though I love the people, it wasn’t working for us. I put my hobbies on the back burner because I want to focus on finishing our home renovations.

The one thing has changed for us too. It went from working on our kitchen to getting childcare to eating dinner at 6 p.m. to furnishing our home to cleaning the garage to (now) work on getting a fence built. What’s the one thing you can choose to focus on today so you can simplify your life and by doing so, everything else will be easier or unnecessary? 

Anna looking down chopping vegetables
About Anna Rider

Hi! I'm Anna, a food writer who documents kitchen experiments on GarlicDelight.com with the help of my physicist and taste-testing husband, Alex. I have an insatiable appetite for noodles 🍜 and believe in "improv cooking".

70 thoughts on “How to simplify your parenting & cooking life with one question”

  1. 5 stars
    The annual review during that festive country walk is such a memorable way to spot everyday inefficiencies. I especially like the reminder that smoother family life isn’t necessarily because the Little King is older—it can come from asking one useful question and simplifying intentionally.

    Reply
  2. 5 stars
    The annual review during that festive country walk is such a memorable setup, and the “one question” approach sounds like a practical way to spot everyday inefficiencies. I especially like the reminder that smoother family life may come from intentional habits rather than simply the Little King getting older.

    Reply
  3. 5 stars
    The annual review on that steep country road, complete with Christmas wreaths, pygmy goats, and a twinkling crùche, sounds like a wonderfully memorable way to spot life’s inefficiencies. I especially liked the reminder that smoother family life may come from simplifying routines rather than simply waiting for the Little King to get older.

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  4. 5 stars
    The “one question” approach sounds like a practical way to uncover everyday inefficiencies, especially as family routines change with a growing child. I also enjoyed the vivid scene of the country walk, pygmy goats, Christmas wreaths, and twinkling crùche—it made the annual review feel wonderfully grounded.

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  5. Such a refreshing read! It’s funny how a single shift in mindset can completely change your routine in the kitchen. I applied this question to my meal prep last night, stopped overthinking the side dishes, and actually enjoyed cooking for once.

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  6. 5 stars
    The annual review during that festive country walk is such a memorable way to spot life’s inefficiencies. I love the idea of using one simple question to make both parenting and cooking feel more manageable, especially as children grow and routines change.

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  7. 5 stars
    The “one question” approach sounds like a practical way to cut through everyday parenting and cooking overwhelm. I especially enjoyed the annual review walk—with the country road, pygmy goats, and twinkling crùche making an ordinary planning moment feel memorable.

    Reply
  8. 5 stars
    The annual review on that steep country road is such a memorable way to reflect on family life. Asking one simplifying question instead of trying to overhaul everything at once sounds especially useful for making parenting and cooking feel more manageable.

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  9. 5 stars
    The annual review walk sounds like a lovely way to spot those everyday inefficiencies, especially with pygmy goats and twinkling lights along the route. I’m curious what the one question is that helped simplify both parenting and cooking.

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  10. 5 stars
    The annual review during that Christmas-lit country walk is such a memorable way to reflect on family life. I love the idea of using one simple question to uncover everyday inefficiencies, especially as parenting and cooking routines evolve with a growing child.

    Reply
  11. 5 stars
    The annual review during that festive country walk is such a memorable way to reflect on family life. Asking one simple question to spot inefficiencies sounds especially useful for making parenting and cooking feel more manageable.

    Reply
  12. 5 stars
    The annual review walk sounds like a lovely way to spot small inefficiencies without making family life feel like a project. I especially like the idea of using one simple question to streamline both parenting and cooking.

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  13. I really like how you compare parenting to systems, not just age. It’s true that older kids bring different challenges. Your walk and review idea sounds peaceful and smart. Thanks for sharing this helpful way to simplify things!

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  14. 5 stars
    The “one question” approach sounds like a practical way to cut through parenting and cooking overwhelm, especially when life already feels full. I also loved the image of doing an annual review while passing pygmy goats, wreaths, and the twinkling crùche—it makes the reflection feel wonderfully grounded in real family life.

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  15. 5 stars
    The annual review during that wreath- and pygmy-goat-filled walk is such a memorable way to reflect on family life. I especially relate to questioning whether things improved because the Little King is older—sometimes simplifying parenting and cooking really does begin with noticing what’s actually making the biggest difference.

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  16. 5 stars
    The annual review detail really hit home—we do the same walk-and-talk every December, but I never thought to apply that “one question” filter to our weeknight dinners. Curious if the question works for picky eaters, or if the Little King just aged into better taste buds?

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  17. 5 stars
    The annual review walk-and-talk is such a relatable ritual — and yes, the “Little King is older” factor genuinely changes everything, even if we don’t want to admit it. Curious if the one question works for the meal-planning chaos too, since that’s where our inefficiencies always seem to pile up.

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  18. 5 stars
    The annual review walk with the pygmy goats sounds like the perfect setting for this — I’m curious, is the “one question” something you use in the moment with the Little King, or more of a weekly planning filter for meals and routines?

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  19. 5 stars
    The annual review walk with the pygmy goats and twinkling crĂšche is such a vivid image—I can totally see how that moment of reflection would surface all those little inefficiencies. Curious if the “one question” is something like “what can I drop without anyone noticing?” because that’s been my shortcut for both dinner and discipline lately.

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  20. 5 stars
    The annual review walk with the pygmy goats and twinkling lights sounds like the perfect setting for this — I love that you two are honest about inefficiencies instead of just letting the chaos ride. Curious if the “one question” is something you’d also use with the Little King when he’s old enough to help out, or if it’s strictly a parent-side hack for now?

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  21. 5 stars
    Cracking up at the image of you two conducting your annual review past the pygmy goats and the twinkling crùche — and I love that a single question can simplify both parenting and cooking. Agreed that the Little King being older makes a huge difference, but that one question sounds like the real game changer.

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  22. 5 stars
    The annual review walk with pygmy goats and twinkling lights sounds like the perfect setting for that kind of reflection—and I love that you’re pinpointing the exact question that cuts through the chaos. Curious if the “Little King” being older actually made the biggest difference, or if it was the question itself that shifted your 2023?

    Reply
  23. The requirements vs priorities framework really clicked for me — asking ‘what’s the one thing that genuinely matters here?’ has simplified our dinner and bedtime chaos. Pairing it with the Choice Voicer guide helped me stay consistent when the day gets overwhelming. Thanks for sharing, Anna!

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  24. 5 stars
    The annual review walk past the pygmy goats sounds like the perfect setting for spotting inefficiencies—curious if that “one question” works as well for meal prep as it does for toddler meltdowns.

    Reply
  25. This is such a clever approach! It reminds me of how good game design can simplify complex mechanics. Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how games like FNAF excel at creating a truly tense and suspenseful experience with surprisingly simple core gameplay? It’s all about that one core question: “Can I survive the night?” That focus really makes the horror hit hard. What’s your go-to “one question” for getting through a tough gaming session?

    Reply
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  28. 5 stars
    Anna, I really connected with your story about the annual review on that country road. The idea of using just one question to cut through parenting and cooking inefficiencies is so practical! It reminds me how we sometimes overcomplicate things even when a simple check-in could save us hours. While I was reading, I actually took a break to play a quick round of our free Haunted Dorm online game to clear my mind before tackling dinner—it’s amazing how stepping away helps reset the brain. You can find more about it at free Haunted Dorm online game if you ever need a mental escape too.

    Reply
  29. Simplifying parenting starts with distinguishing requirements from priorities — finding childcare became easier with that mindset shift. I use Bimg AI to create productivity infographics.

    Reply
  30. 5 stars
    Thanks for sharing this perspective, Anna! I really relate to walking down that country road with Alex and doing an annual review. We often get caught up in busy routines and forget to pause at Christmas too. Finding that one question to cut through the noise of parenting and cooking is such a game-changer. It sounds like a gentle approach to decluttering our mental space. Sometimes, when the kitchen gets chaotic or the kids are overwhelming, I need a quick mental reset. That’s actually why I often pause during my day for a quick round of Tap Away Free Arrow Games to clear my head before tackling dinner prep or bedtime stories. It helps me come back with a fresh mindset. Do you have a specific moment during that walk where the inefficiency became clear to you? Would love to hear more about the question you settled on!

    Reply
  31. 5 stars
    Your story about the Christmas road review really resonated. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of parenting and cooking, but stepping back like you did is so powerful. I love how you pinpointed inefficiencies rather than just wishing things were better. Honestly, sometimes I need a quick mental reset after a long day of meal prep, and I find a few rounds of arrow games on my phone helps clear the head without too much screen time stress. What was the specific question you used to fix those inefficiencies? Would love to hear if it changed your routines beyond just cooking.

    Reply
  32. The distinction between requirements and priorities is such a practical way to reduce stress. Sometimes simplifying really is the best productivity hack. Even as a fnaf fan, I can relate to focusing on one objective at a time.

    Reply
  33. I love the requirements vs priorities framework! It’s helped me cut down decision fatigue in the kitchen. I’ve been using seteazero.app to keep my meal planning minimal, and it really complements this approach.

    Reply
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  35. I enjoyed exploring this project. The idea is unique and addresses a common challenge—feeling overwhelmed by too many choices or too much information. Breaking things down into one guiding question at a time is a smart approach that encourages better decision-making. The project already has a strong foundation, and with continued refinement, such as additional examples, improved usability, or more interactive features, it could become an even more valuable resource. Great job, and keep up the excellent work!

    Reply
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  40. It’s wonderful to see you and Alex reflecting on the first half of the year. Life is undoubtedly made easier by identifying areas that weren’t functioning properly and experimenting with new ways.

    Reply
  41. Wow, this was such a refreshing read! I started asking myself that pivotal question you mentioned during meal prep and it totally transformed our dinners. Less stress, more smiles! đŸ’Ș And speaking of simplification, I found that having quick family game nights (like FNAF 3!) also lightens the load after busy days. Keep sharing these gems!

    Reply
  42. Reading about your annual review on that country road with the goats really resonated with me. It’s so easy to get bogged down by daily inefficiencies, especially during the holidays. I love the idea of distilling decisions down to just one key question. Sometimes, stepping away to solve a puzzle helps clear the mental clutter. We actually try playing an arrow escape game when we need a focused break. It’s amazing how solving a virtual puzzle can make real-life challenges feel a bit simpler. Thanks for sharing these practical tips, Anna!

    Reply
  43. Hi Anna, this post really struck a chord. Reading about your annual review on that steep country road, surrounded by pygmy goats and festive lights, painted such a vivid picture of your family life. It’s so common to feel overwhelmed by inefficiencies even when things seem great. That “one question” strategy is brilliant for cutting through the clutter in parenting and meal planning. I’ve recently started exploring how AI Creative tools can help brainstorm fresh recipes or organizational ideas without feeling robotic. It’s wonderful how technology can actually help us simplify and slow down. Thanks for the reminder to step back and ask better questions. Wishing you and Alex a peaceful holiday season!

    Reply
  44. This is a brilliantly practical guide to simplifying life by distinguishing requirements from priorities. The “one thing” question is transformative—your examples make it actionable. Thank you for sharing such clear, relatable wisdom.

    Reply
  45. It’s great to see you and Alex taking the time to reflect on the first half of the year. Identifying areas that weren’t working well and experimenting with new systems certainly helps to make life smoother.

    Reply
  46. Hey there! I loved your perspective on simplifying life—especially the focus on asking ourselves one key question. As a busy parent, I’ve found that reflecting like this has truly helped me cut out the chaos. Just like navigating FNAF games can feel overwhelming at times, parenting can bring its own set of challenges. But narrowing down priorities makes it all so much easier! Love your insights—definitely checking out fnaf for more tips!

    Reply
  47. The concept of making a distinction between requirements and priorities is one that I really like. I have been making an effort to incorporate more of this into my own life, particularly with regard to the planning of meals. I’ve discovered that concentrating on the “must-have” components first helps to streamline the entire process and decreases the amount of decision fatigue that one experiences. I appreciate you sharing this framework with me.

    Reply
  48. I love the idea of distinguishing between requirements and priorities. It’s something I’ve been trying to do more of in my own life, especially with meal planning. I’ve found that focusing on the ‘must-have’ ingredients first really streamlines the whole process and reduces decision fatigue. Thanks for sharing this framework!

    Reply
    • I really enjoyed this perspective. Sometimes we overcomplicate things when the answer becomes much clearer by asking ourselves the right question. It’s a simple idea, but it can make a big difference in how we approach daily decisions and challenges. Thanks for sharing such a practical reminder—it definitely gave me something to reflect on.

      Reply
  49. I love the idea of requirements versus priorities. It’s so easy to get bogged down in things that feel urgent but aren’t actually essential. Focusing on the true requirements first makes everything else much clearer. Thanks for this helpful framework!

    Reply
  50. I love the idea of requirements versus priorities. It’s so easy to get caught up in what feels urgent but isn’t actually essential. Focusing on the core requirements first makes everything else much clearer. I’m going to try applying this to my own schedule this week!

    Reply
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  52. Anna,
    You write really well. I enjoyed your article because I am in the same mindset. “Ok first I’ll do this. No, wait. I should be doing THIS. No. I’ll do the first thing I set out to do. All of the sudden: an hour has gone by. Maybe, 2 hours! I have accomplished nothing. I have the luxury of being retired and don’t have all the things you have to do including taking care of Little King. However, my new mantra is it (IT can be anything) will work out the way it is supposed to.

    Reply

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